I honestly didn't know how much could happen in five years and today I'm hit with just how much there is to say.

Mostly, I just wish you were here to see all the good.  I have so many things I want to tell you.  Like how I've taken your red plaid shirt around the world with me.  How Mom's finally taken that trip to Italy with Dad.  How I've used the skills, the ones you taught me to love, to build things as ministry.  How I've made friends with people that I think will actually stick around this time.  How I'm writing music again.  It's worship music.  You would've loved the songs.  I think your eyes would leak the happiest tears.

But, by far, the best thing is how God has changed my life.  You never got to see me really follow Him.  You never got to hear me tell you how faithful God has been.  I just wanna sit at the arboretum under that big oak tree (you'd probably correct me on its name) and tell you everything.  I wish you could give me building advice.  I wish you could comfort me with the silence you were never afraid of.  I'd tell you I'm sorry I didn't come see you in the hospital.  I'd tell you how much you mean to me.  There's just so, so much.  I miss you.

I think of you often.  It's not the same without you, but I know what you would say.  I'll put on my big girl pants and get to work.  There's things to do and we can't waste the time we have with what could have been.  I hope you don't mind me using your tool belt.  I don't mind the weight; you made sure I was strong enough to pick it up.  Thank you for the lessons.  Thank you for the late night stargazing.  Thank you for the silence and simple love.  Your red plaid shirt and I have many more ad-ventures to go on.  Many more mountains and trees to climb.  Trails to hike.  Places and flowers to marvel at.  And carvings to make in this tree called life.  So, I'll send you a postcard-- this postcard to heaven-- and I'll wish you were here.  You would have loved the view.  I miss you every day, Poe, and I love you more.

From Romania with all my love,

Your Sydnee Régan