There are many things about this new season the Lord has placed me in that I expected would grab my attention, but nothing quite so awe-inspiring as the humility he has expected of me. My understanding of my own ability has been changed and I am grateful for it. I have this habit of assuming I’ve got what I need and that’s enough. I have this habit of trying my own strength out first before depending on the Lord. “Lean not on your own understanding,” he said. “Acknowledge me in all your ways,” he said, “and I will direct your path.” But, that’s easier said than done. I became wise in my own eyes. I forgot to trust him, to respect him– to fear him. I have had to ask forgiveness for how I’ve started the journey in preparation for the World Race. I am currently a second-year student in a program called the Dream Center Leadership School, and supposedly a leader to first-year students. I know that the Lord brought me here to learn the lifestyle and positioning of a leader before he sends me out into the world (beginning with my Race). But, what am I teaching these first year students, who are already so precious to me? To be arrogant? To pretend I have it all together? I’m learning how to use the leadership skills I learned in my first year, yet I’ve started off on the wrong foot. This reminder in my spirit comforts me: I am here for a test run. A safe environment, a God-centered environment, has been provided to me by the Lord so that I can make mistakes such as these. My goal is to start and complete my Race with humility. More than I want to be someone who is looked up to, more than I want to be a leader, more than I want to do the World Race, and more than I want to be a missionary… I want to walk humbly before the Lord.
Woah. I dove in DEEP. Now that that’s off my chest…
WELCOME TO MY BLOG! I’m sure you–my beloved friends, family, readers, and supporters– will hear many more of these moments over the next two years where I may choose to humble myself publicly, speak bluntly and honesty, or simply express my current state of mind (however ragged and worn down that may be). So, please bear with me and bear witness to all the amazing things I’m certain the Lord is preparing. I’m super excited!
That’s all for today, but please be on the lookout for my next post!
