I Run The Race

So he said to me, “This is the word of the Lord to Zerubbabel: ‘Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,’ says the Lord Almighty.
Zechariah 4:6

If I ran a mile from God, would he not pursue me? If I ran 10 miles, would he abandon the search? 26.2 miles? To the ends of the earth? Now, imagine running a marathon WITH God and not away from him. Imagine running in tandem, not playing tag.
I ran the LA Marathon, yes, but I was not alone. My physical body pursued the finish line, but my spirit was stilled. My flesh was in pain, yet my soul was comforted. The Lord ministered to my tangible needs and brought companions alongside for encouragement in the physical; however, I was given a heavenly Comforter whose peace and encouragement were beyond anything I’ve ever known. “‘By my spirit’, says the Lord Almighty.” I knew I needed Him. How desperately I needed him. I gave over the rights to my self and He made a holy experiment out of me. And His experiments always succeed (paraphrasing Oswald Chambers). I am weak. I will flounder on my own. Everything will hurt. Everything will fail. But, when God is your strength and you have no more right to your self than you do to the heavenly throne, the need for Him becomes greater than the need to be in control. He is making me hunger and thirst for Him and His righteousness. He is making my need for Him greater than all other needs and desires. He is making me courageous. My fighting spirit is renewed in Him. He will not leave me or forsake me. My focus is clear. I had to correct my vision for this marathon. I thought that doing something like this would be a huge way to sponsor my World Race and I didn’t realize that I was trying to do something big to provide for myself in a way that only God can. So, He only gave me half the vision before the run. He let me see my error, but not the full lesson.
Everything started out smoothly. I was set to run with a couple friends until Mile 6 where we would run past our other DCLS friends together. I got 4.25 miles in and was exhausted by our pace and the hills. I walked the rest of the mile before running the next mile which led past my friends who were cheering us on. Sarah (one of my roommates) jumped into the race and stopped me to drink water. She reminded me to pace myself, then I continued on.
Running alone for the next three miles was a refreshing time with the Lord. I ran and walked on and off for a while while listening to the people cheer or to worship music. This was the easiest part of the whole marathon. I watched and listened and took it all in. By Mile 9, I was tired of being alone and I started to look for people to talk to or possibly run with. I met a couple people running for World Vision (another humanitarian/mission group) and tried to talk with them but both times the runners were very focused and not up for much conversation. I took that as a kind of indicator that I should just keep on and someone would eventually come along that I should talk with. Finally, around Mile 9, I met a woman with a beautiful Indian accent and we encouraged each other on to Mile 15. We didn’t always talk but it was good to have someone on the same pace as me and who challenged herself to run a little bit of every mile. But, by the 15, I knew I had blisters and I was starting to slow my new friend’s pace.
Mile 15 coincides with the 25km marker. Our bibs have trackers on the back and texts are sent out to the people tracking you every time you pass one of the kilometer markers. Just as I passed the 15 mile but before the next tracking station, Liv (my New Zealander roommate from my first year in DCLS and one of my closest friends) called me to ask where I was. She had come into town for the marathon and, apparently, the Lord had been speaking to her when she saw me at Mile 6. She knew she had to run with me. The Lord literally sent her to hop into the race with me at the point when my pace was starting to deteriorate. I said goodbye to my new friend because Liv encouraged me to stop at a medical station to check my feet.

Bandages were applied and, getting back on course, Liv managed to distract me until Mile 20. There was nothing left to hold my attention at that point but the pain. I had called my parents once before to let them know I was past halfway, but I had run out of my own strength this time. I called again and asked my mom to read scripture to me. Psalm 96 in particular struck me. My mom read it in The Message Bible. I read it in NLT later:
Sing a new song to the Lord! Let the whole earth sing to the Lord! Sing to the Lord; praise his name. Each day proclaim the good news that he saves. Publish his glorious deeds among the nations. Tell everyone about the amazing things he does. Great is the Lord! He is most worthy of praise! He is to be feared above all gods. The gods of other nations are mere idols, but the Lord made the heavens! Honor and majesty surround him; strength and beauty fill his sanctuary. O nations of the world, recognize the Lord; recognize that the Lord is glorious and strong. Give to the Lord the glory he deserves! Bring your offering and come into his courts. Worship the Lord in all his holy splendor. Let all the earth tremble before him. Tell all the nations, “The Lord reigns!” The world stands firm and cannot be shaken. He will judge all peoples fairly. Let the heavens be glad, and the earth rejoice! Let the sea and everything in it shout his praise! Let the fields and their crops burst out with joy! Let the trees of the forest sing for joy before the Lord , for he is coming! He is coming to judge the earth. He will judge the world with justice, and the nations with his truth.

I attempted to find my song and the joy in the pain, but I felt defeated. Crouching down about 50 yards out from the 22 mile marker, I cried with my head in my hands. It was the only time, I think, that I said I couldn’t do it. Then, I heard feet running toward me and I looked up enough to see two sets of feet standing in front of me. Destinee (who is one of the first years in my small group) and Chloe (who is a first year in worship track with me) were standing there. They had seen on my tracker that I was moving slowly and decided to come help. Liv, Destinee, and Chloe walked with me for the remaining miles.

At the end of the marathon when I could see the finish line, I asked my sweet friends to let me walk to the finish line alone. I asked the Lord as I walked if He would tell me what His purpose was for me in putting my body through something as grueling as a marathon (I’m not an athletic person so this kind of event didn’t come naturally to me). But, while I was asking Him why, I was answered by my own voice. For the last couple of miles, Chloe had worship music blaring from her phone at my request. The song King Of My Heart came on and it just seemed to be the perfect encouraging song. So, throughout my prayer, I had been singing. The lyrics say, “You are good, good. You are good. You’re never gonna let me down.” And it hit me (less than 30 yards from the finish line) that HE IS GOOD. I never got it. I had been praising all my life saying He is good and He wouldn’t leave me and He has good things in store for me, but I couldn’t grasp how desperately I needed Him. He whispered to me as I sang and said, “THAT. THAT is what I wanted you to learn.” I crossed the finish in tears and when the medal was placed around my neck I went to the side of the road and cried on my knees, worshipping the Lord. The people next to me thought I was either crazy or injured because they were asking if I was ok or if I needed help. I just smiled and held up my medal.  They couldn’t possibly understand this moment. He is all the reward I need. He is my beginning and my end. He is where my life flows from. He is enough to fulfill me. He is my provision and my strength, my refuge in time of need. I’m pressed, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair (2 Corinthians 4:8-10). I’m in pain, but healed; tired, but renewed. Brilliant color is permeating my life, shade by shade. I never realized how gray it had become, so I’m going to let the Lord show me some new colors. I don’t have to worry or let my faith dim in the Lord because I don’t see things the way He sees them–in their entirety and fullness of life. I put my faith in God alone, not the provision of man or the strength of my own ability. He alone is capable. He alone is ever faithful.

He alone is good.