What You Don’t See

“We are responsible for surrender, obedience, and faithfulness—not our usefulness.  God determines our usefulness and how we are used.” – Writer Unknown

To be honest, I’ve been struggling to see our usefulness this month in El Salvador.  Don’t get me wrong!  There have been things that have made it worth it.  We’ve gotten to preach at our host’s church and love on the people there.  We’ve taught English to kids, teens, and adults that attend the church.  We’ve seen God move in worship services where we couldn’t understand the songs in Spanish.  We’ve visited a volcano, ridden in the back of a truck to visit a church deep in the countryside, danced with kids, loved on all the sweet little abuelas of our church, and really gotten to be a part of our host’s family.

In the middle of all this, it was easy to see wasted time and to feel like our impact could’ve been greater.  We would wake up whenever we wanted to in the morning.  We would kill the day however we wanted at the house (usually quiet time, exercising, eating with the family at mealtimes, and chilling on Wi-Fi).  Then, when 3:30 rolled around, we would leave the house and drive to the church to teach for an hour before we sat in on the nightly service (or one of us preached).  I’m surprised I didn’t post more often because of how much time we had on Wi-Fi this month, but I really didn’t feel like I had much to say.

This is a part of ministry on the field that most people at home don’t see.  You see the awesome adventures, the highlight posts, and the cool stories told in blog posts.  Those posts, those adventures, probably make up maybe 15-20% of our time, which is great and, again, so worth it!  However, you don’t see the hours where we don’t know what to do with ourselves, the ones where, due to the crime rate and/or the extenuating circumstances of our location, we can’t leave the house during the day and cabin fever sets in.  It’s hard to not get caught in laziness, especially after how active we were last month.  I’ll be honest and say that I’ve felt incredibly lazy this month and I believed the lie that was saying, “What are you even doing here?  Don’t you see your friends, your other squad-mates who are actually making a difference?  You’re not.”  This lie is painful.  It cuts deep.  I let it get in the way of using my time to grow close to the Lord.  I let it lie and believed when it said He isn’t speaking and he’s gonna continue to give other people and other teams better assignments.

Comparison is such a liar.  But, it only has the power we choose to give it.  I didn’t mean to give it power this month.  I didn’t mean to believe a lie; it just happened.  And here’s where peace comes in.  Here’s where God can clarify the fuzzy lens you’ve been looking through.  Here’s where Jesus can make good despite all the places you’ve failed (or at least feel like you have).  There is forgiveness.  There is grace.  There is clarity.  And, in all the chaos, He is peace.

Here are the notes from the sermon I preached over a week ago on the topic of peace.  I want to share it with all of you because I preached it, but I’m just now starting to understand it.  Sometimes that’s the reality of it.  We preach and teach what we are just now learning.

“I sat with God to prepare this message, but, as I sat there in my room, I felt so distracted.  I felt small and unimportant.  There was no peace.  It took some time, but I realized the problem wasn’t because God wasn’t talking to me.  I was not really listening. 

When the angels appeared to the shepherds after Jesus’ birth, they said to the shepherds,

‘Glory to God in highest heaven, and peace on earth to those with whom God is pleased.’ (Luke 2:14)

The first thing we must do when we are struggling to find peace in our lives is to give God our attention.  We must stop to listen when he is speaking.  When the angels showed up to share the good news with the shepherds, the angels got the shepherds’ attention.  We can’t hear if we are focused somewhere else.  We hear God’s voice when we are content to just sit with him and bring stillness to the busyness or constant movement of our lives.  God wants to sit with us and speak with us.  He is our Father and he wants to spend time with us and give us his peace.  We can’t find that time unless we are looking for it and listening for Him to speak.

Second, we must give God glory.  This means seeing all the little blessings along with the big ones.  This means we thank him for who he is, not just what he has done or what we are believing he will do.  We must live our lives with a constant attitude of thanksgiving.  If we are constantly overflowing with thanks, we will find it difficult to complain or have any self-pity.  Giving glory to God is the victory we need to fight the giant of victimhood.  It will help us see that our battles have been won by the King who fights for us.  Jesus deserves all the glory.  He is the good King who loves all people and that should be how we praise and love him—with thanks and obedience.

Finally, to find peace, we must understand that we please God.  God wants us to grow and to become like his Son, but he knows that is difficult for us.  He wants us to know that he sees us as his masterpiece.  He created us.

‘Then God looked over all he had made, and he saw that it was very good!’ (Genesis 1:31)

Everything he saw, he said it was good.  That includes us.  God wants to love us.  He wants to heal us when we are hurt.  He wants to show us we are worthy when we know we are not.  He wants to bring life to the dead parts of our hearts.  He wants to bring righteousness to cover our sin and to light up the darkness when we can’t find our way.  God is the God of peace.  It’s who He is.  And he wants us to have his peace be a part of who we are.”

Peace isn’t always visible in our lives.  It’s the part of this Kingdom race you don’t see but we all need.

Brief update:

We finished teaching our classes Thursday evening and are now in our last week of ministry in El Salvador.

Today, I received a MASSIVE donation– $2,500 (PRAISE JESUS)!!!!  I now have $16,364 on my WR account and only need $1,836 to be FULLY FUNDED!!  And, with about 30 days left until the deadline, this is absolutely do-able!  Thank the Lord!  He’s been so faithful.  So faithful.  Please consider donating!

We leave for VIETNAM in a week!  And our ministry for the month is… Ask The Lord!  A brief explanation of ATL– Instead of staying with a ministry host and serving with that host, we will be simply asking the Lord to direct us in how he would like us to serve in Hanoi this coming month.  This means God has complete control and we simply trust him!  I’m so excited!  We will be briefly stopping back over in the States for a layover or two (Orlando and Chicago for the group I’m in).  Please pray for our travel days because they will be the longest ones of our Race (FOUR planes and a probable 30-hour bus/train ride when we arrive).

Grace and Peace to all of you!

– Re’