Eleven Thoughts for 11n11

*Disclaimer: These are not 11 expectations that could possibly be dashed or standards that could go unmet.  They are 11 THOUGHTS, yearnings of my heart and mind to witness God in action and be a true follower and disciple of Jesus over the course of this 11 month adventure to 11 different countries.  They are eleven possibilities for what I could experience and what I hope to learn.

1) Firstly, the World Race is on my mind all the time.  Not in an obsessive way, but God has been preparing me to take this journey for a LONG time–probably since I was a small child. I’ve wanted to travel the world for as long as I can recall and, having spent many years with these thoughts in my mind, I’m sure I’ve got an extensive list of thoughts to choose from.  This, however, is the first time I’ll be traveling internationally with the intention to serve God and others and not just to see the world.  Yes, I’ve gone on mission trips before and, yes, I was a “Christian”; however, being just a Christian and walking out my faith as a follower of Christ are not the same at all.  So, in that way, this will be a different experience altogether.  My thoughts have been taken higher.  My intentions are not purely selfish this time.  Well… I do REALLY want to see the world.  But this is no longer my sole reason for going.

2) I realize now that my life and the world will fade away quickly, and I’ve got to do something about taking a few more people into the Kingdom of heaven with me.  So, the World Race is the first jump headlong into this God-dream that I’ve had for international missions.  I’ll jump in the water and get used to swimming on this trip. I hope the Lord will reveal to me over the course of the year a grander and broader vision for how I’ve been individually purposed to serve him and what he has in store for me more long-term.

3) I want to be LEGENDARY.  This is a word I will become more accustomed to using as a descriptor for myself and what I expect to become as a disciple.  I’ve been reading a book by a pastor friend of mine (and a friend of the Dream Center), Chuck Balsamo, and “legend” is the term he uses for the people who open themselves up to the vision and passion and commitment of picking up their crosses and following Jesus.  It’s basically a job title for the most amazing job on the planet…
“And what do you do?”
“Oh, I’m a legend.”
I want God to make me a legend for his Kingdom.  This means that I want him to disturb the passivity and selfishness in me.  I want to see what he sees and hear what he hears.  I want to be moved by people as he is moved by people.  I want to move as he moves, where he moves and when he moves.  He has called me to missions, so I want to be broken before him and rebuilt with a fiercer passion for him and his people than I’ve ever experienced–a passion that will drive me to actually change the world, not simply live in it.

4) PHO. (I mean… of course my brain is on food.) One of the countries I am going to is Vietnam and I cannot wait to try actual, authentic pho.  It’s just my favorite food and catch me eatin’ it ALL THE TIME.  Besides the serving and helping people part, eating food WILL be where I make the most memories.  It’s just like… the best.  Hey, Jesus was a foodie.  A certifiable foodie.  It’s in the Bible.  That’s probably why he had to fast and pray so much.  I mean, he knew where to get the best fish (Luke 5:1-11).  He fed thousands of people because he preached too long and they forgot to bring their lunches (Matthew 14:13-21, 15:32-38).  He knew all about seasoning (Matthew 5:13).  He even cursed a fig tree because it didn’t have any fruit on its branches when he was hungry (Matthew 21:18-22).  The last thing he did with his disciples was eat!  It’s true what they say–food is close to godliness.  So, if it was that important to Jesus, you can bet it’s that important to me!

5) I’m honestly so excited to see where and how the Lord will provide for us if/when we reach the end of our resources and have to depend on him.  Witnessing God pull out major resources for big needs in the past and present has been awe-inspiring, but, recently, I’ve tried prayer more often for little needs here and there.  It has been absolutely incredible to watch God answer.  Actually making it a practice in my life has been one of the coolest challenges.  I can’t wait to see how creative he gets when we are literally out of food or we don’t have a place to stay or transportation or we are in a less than desirable situation and have to fully depend on him to provide for us to keep going.  I think that’s when we’re going to find the stories to tell to our grandkids or to write in books one day.

6) Culture has always fascinated me.  I know I’ve shared this thought before and others on my squad have told me of their own excitement when it comes to learning the little intricacies of each of the people groups we’re going to be doing life with in the coming months.  I want to be taught their traditions and their languages (I’ll make an effort and learn at least what’s necessary to get by).  I want to learn their songs and their sayings, their hobbies and their stories.  I want to learn what it takes to live in their country.  Being immersed in an unfamiliar culture is just so thrilling and challenging and rewarding.  Popping the bubble of comfort will take some getting used to, but adapting to new things is definitely up there on the list of things I’m looking forward to.

7) Culture isn’t people, though.  It helps form people, but building relationships with people (both my squad-mates and people living in the countries we are going to) and getting to know what makes them THEM… I can’t describe the rise of emotion in my chest that is bursting to be there NOW.  I can’t describe it.  Just know that, even though I don’t have words for it at the moment, I have a deep yearning to actually know and love the people I’ll meet.  If I could share the feelings I’m having as I write this, I would because it’s overwhelming.

8) Of the luxuries in the States, I will probably miss beds the most. There’s no knowing when I’ll be sleeping in one again once I launch.  Needless to say, I’m getting some significant one on one time in with beds before I leave.  They must know my deep feelings of love and affection for them. They will be missed…

9) And showers.  I forget about those sometimes.  I definitely will be more grateful for consistent shaving and really getting a good scalp scrub in with some hot water when I get back to the States. 

10) I feel like I’m going to be more grateful in general when I get back to the States.  I love adventuring so I can’t say I’ll be homesick all the time, but I’ll definitely have a well-rounded appreciation for the privileges and blessings I’ve grown up with.  I’m not from a wealthy family, but we are blessed and don’t have incredibly devastating needs.  I am grateful already, but my thankfulness is definitely going to be more pronounced as a result of what I’ll experience on this trip.

11) Lastly, these questions have been on my mind lately…  What will my relationship with God look like at the end?  When I’ve gone to 11 countries in 11 months and I’ve seen and done so many incredible things, how will our relationship have changed?  What are the lessons I’ll have learned?  How will he have changed me in ways that only experience can form in a person?  What battles will we fight together?  What victories will we win?  Will he pick me up and show me the good in the worst days?  On the days there is no silver lining?  On the days I’m begging for an end?  Will he keep me accountable on the good days?  On the days I may let my guard down too much or start slacking off?  I’m not sure of all the answers and I’m sure I’ll fail one or twice as I learn, but I do know one thing: Jesus is the only one I’ll be able to fully lean on.  He will teach me.  He will fight for me.  He will help me fight for others.  He will be my God and I will be his person.  He will make my heart more tender and my mind more teachable.  He will be my refuge and my strength in times of need.  When I am not enough, he is always enough.  I can count on him and I hope to grow to the point where he can count on me.  Lord, my Beloved, I am yours and you are mine.  Here I am.  Send me.