Transition is not an easy road to walk. It amazes me how exposed I feel, how easily it seems my heart falters. I want to let you in on the truth of my now. I don’t want to be here. In this place. In these emotions. I don’t want to answer questions. I don’t want to even get out of bed some (most) days. Then again, I want to do all of it. I know this is where God has me for now. That doesn’t stop the days from coming where I don’t want to have to depend on God. That doesn’t stop the fact that I don’t want to not be okay.
So I want to let you in on my prayer today. Today is a good day (among a long and overwhelming period of days that have been very much less than “good”). And, in this day of clarity and seeing the truth in spite of the lies floating around, I have to speak out the truth. I have to make it real. I have to hold fast to it. “And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:38?-?39 NLT)
This is straight from my journal. I hope you are encouraged.
God, release the wildness and abandon in my heart that comes with surrendering in this wilderness, in this battle! I was bought at a high price and set free to be with you and to dance in the wild places! God, you are not tame! You are not safe! You are good and you are everything I need! You are enough for me and I celebrate you on this good day when my heart can actually sing your praise!
Father, you are with me and fighting for me. I may not have known it yesterday; you held my tears. I may not know it tomorrow; you hold my fears. But, I know it today. I KNOW it. This dry place is not the end. This dry place is only an opportune moment for you to show your endless springs of provision and faithfulness. I believe you are the good Father you say you are, the Father who sees all and knows all and desires all of me. So I give myself freely to you! I trust that, in this place of struggle, you are bringing so much more of your goodness to light and I praise you for showing me who you are.
Even in the presence of my enemies.
You are GOOD.
And my enemies will tremble as we declare war on every one of them.
Even in the presence of fear.
You are GOOD.
Even in the presence of anxiety.
You are GOOD.
Even in the presence of rejection.
You are GOOD.
Even in the presence of sadness.
You are GOOD.
Even in the presence of deep anger.
You are GOOD.
Even in the presence of sexual desires outside of your timing.
You are GOOD.
Even in the present valley.
You are GOOD.
Even in the presence of selfishness.
You are GOOD.
Even in the presence of hypocrisy.
You are GOOD.
Even in the presence of brokenness.
You are GOOD.
Even in the presence of impatience.
You are GOOD.
Even in the presence of heartbreak.
You are GOOD.
Even in the presence of loneliness.
You are GOOD.
Even in the presence of the lies I’m believing.
You are GOOD.
Even in the present season.
You are GOOD.
Even when I can’t see you.
You are GOOD.
Even when I don’t believe it.
You. Are. GOOD.
You, Lord Jesus, deserve ALL of the glory!! Today, I believe. And I have hope for tomorrow. There is a joy in surrender. This is the joy of surrender–joy just like the first time I believed: “Praise the Lord! Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good! His faithful love endures forever.” (Psalms 106:1 NLT)
So true. Our Father is good.+ love you Grandie+
Oh my my!!! Sweet Dear One, you are so loved and cherished. God is GOOD! HE can be trusted. You are where He wants you. Testing Him!
Love you so much and I see God’s good work being done in you.
Love you so,
Jesus loves you most!
Mom
Thank you for your openness. What a mighty God we serve! You are in the refiners fire – thank you for not settling for 99% but going for 100% to reflect the Lord!??
I like your complete honesty and being real . Thanks . sharing this gives even me, at my age , the courage and strength to carry on with my assignment with joy and peace and even strength . You are a remarkable young woman . God bless you .
Re,
He is a GOOD GOOD FATHER, and SAVIOR.
You are His and He is yours.
Glory be to God who made you who you are and is with you where you are.
God is using you for His glory! Through all that He has ordained and predestined in your life-you are blessing his Holy name.
I praise the Lord for the wisdom He has showered on you! Be encouraged as you have encouraged others. Continue and never grow weary for God is worthy even when we tire.
May your mind be renewed and be strong in the power of His strength.
Blessings of Romans 12 over you!
Much Love
I love you so much Re!!!
Such sweet and vulnerable words. Thank you for sharing your heart with us Re. You are amazing. Hang in there. The best is yet to come for you.