The Family Gardening Business

My team did guided prayer together last night led by Summer, our team leader.  I want to tell the story of the encounter I had with God (the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit).  The vision He revealed to me was stunning and left me unexpectedly emotional.

We began guided prayer by allowing an image of a safe place to come to mind.  It could be an actual place where we’ve pursued quiet time with God at home or it could be an image God brings up.  Without the intention of being rude or insensitive, I say this with every blessing from my family as I’ve spoken with them before about it: I don’t have a place that I know to be my “home”.  I have my familial home which I love and which holds many memories.  I have the Dream Center in LA that holds a special safe place for me.  However, I am asking that God would begin to show me where the home that He is building for me is and that we will eventually build it together once He does reveal it to me.  That said, my safe place was a beautiful, comforting image that God, knowing me well, designed specifically for me.

I open a door and walk into a room in a house.  The room is brightly lit by natural light.  It is a home library.  There are book cases lining the walls of the square room and, on the wall opposing the door, there is a wide and cozy window seat.  I get comfortable on the left of the seat, facing the window, and simply sit and breathe.  Jesus opens the door and follows me into the room.  He is wearing jeans and the red plaid shirt which means so much to me.  Sitting beside me, we gaze out the window for a moment until He turns to look at me.

“Is there anything you want to say to me?” I face him and ask.

With the most comforting smile, He replies, “I am here.”  He knows how much I am desiring Him in the mundane right now, how much I long to hear Him in the regular ins and outs of the everyday.

I became aware of the Holy Spirit’s presence in the room.  He came to sit behind me on the window seat with a warm blanket in hand.  Wrapping the blanket around my shoulders, He leans into my back in the most comforting way.  I had this overwhelming feeling that I was “hemmed in” by the Spirit, like scripture says.  In a way the Holy Spirit was displaying His agreement with Jesus that He is with me.  At this point, I was hit with emotion.

“I just don’t want to be lonely anymore.  I guess that’s why I want you with me all the time.”  His warmth soothed me as I spoke.

Through the window, I could see the Father in the garden.  I walk outside and sit in the freshly cut grass and watch the Father work.  He stops and steps near me to sit in the grass as well.  We just take one another in.  I stare in His eyes and He in mine.  I can feel all of me is seen.

“What do you want to say to me?”

“You will learn how to sow, how to nurture, and how to reap the harvest.” His voice is soft and gentle, but firm and resolved.  I could see the fields (present and future) grown tall and ready to be harvested.

“Teach me,” I say, “and what about my team?”

“I am growing deep roots–” He paused.  “But, I’m also pulling up deep weeds.”

“Is there anything you want from me or for me to do?”

He smiled again and placed in my hands His trowel.

“I’m giving you the power and the tools to do what I do.”

There was something interesting that God revealed to me afterward about Him and myself as gardeners.  He brought to mind Cain and Abel in Genesis—Cain being the crop-grower and Abel being the cattle-raiser.  Abel, the younger, brought his offering of the firstborn of his flock or herd and it was well received by God.  Cain, the older, brought crops from his harvest and the offering was rejected.  In church, we hear all the time about the parallels between Jesus as the sacrificial lamb offered in our place.  We hear about God as the Good Shepherd, tending His flocks.  We hear about the many younger sons who pleased God and were called out to receive blessing that far surpassed their siblings.

All I can think is, “God, I’m a firstborn.  Do I get thrown into the pile with all the disappointing Cains?  Do I get passed over as another Esau, Reuben, Ishmael or Eliab in favor of the younger?”

None of this has anything to do with actual brother/sister rivalry.  Although I do see the connection to my own previous (now resolved) bitterness toward this classic Biblical favoritism, I can clearly see that the lesson isn’t about the blood relation between siblings.  This is about the relationship God has with all His children.  The Old Testament is often about the sacrifices and the animals and these symbols and rituals which became markers of the nation of Israel.  God chose a people, a line from a younger son.  The Israelites made the choice many a time to ally with the world.  So, in comes the New Testament.  Jesus came to bring life to all people and to find workers for the harvest.  “He said to his disciples,” in Matthew 9:37-38, “‘The harvest is great, but the workers are few.  So pray to the Lord who is in charge of the harvest; ask him to send more workers into his fields.’”  He came so that the Gentiles, the other people who were not from the line of the younger, chosen son, might also have eternal life.

That’s where God opened my eyes.  In John 15:1 and verses 16-17, Jesus says, “I am the true grapevine, and my Father is the gardener […] You didn’t choose me.  I chose you.  I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask for, using my name.  This is my command: Love each other.”  God always has his plans.  He always has His purpose for everything He does.  He had plans for the younger and firstborn sons.  God has placed His identity in each of His children.  He becomes the Gardener to the older and the Shepherd to the younger.  He shows His identity to each of us so that we have something to identify with.

To me, He showed Himself to be the Gardener.  He compares His Kingdom to a field where seed is scattered in Luke 8:4-15.  My Father is a gardener, so I must be as well.  I’ve been sent out to cultivate the harvest, to build His Kingdom on earth.  He spoke to that deep part of me that identifies with the firstborns of every generation.  He spoke to the part of me that wanted to know why my sacrifice wasn’t good enough.  He spoke to the centuries old heart-cry of the older son in Luke 15:25-32, “‘All these years I’ve slaved for you and never once refused to do a single thing you told me to.  And in all that time you never gave me even one young goat for a feast with my friends.  Yet when this son of yours comes back after squandering your money on prostitutes, you celebrate by killing the fattened calf!’”

God revealed that He is in the business of redeeming the firstborn (Exodus 13:1-2, 11-13).  The King has swung the gates wide to receive a harvest of all people.  We are all heirs.  We aren’t weighed on a scale to find our worth, but are, in fact, worthy because we’ve been grafted into the Kingdom vine.

It gives me chills to know my place in the Kingdom.  It satisfies me to look in my Father’s eyes and hear Him say He is proud of me before I’ve even done the work.  He wants me as much as He wanted the chosen people.  I couldn’t be more proud or more honored to take on the Family business—Kingdom business.

Now I know I have seen your glory that cannot be unseen

I am changed, changing still as I look upon you, Lord

Holy is the Lord revealed before my eyes

My burdened heart can scarcely take it in

As I behold your beauty with unworthy eyes

And the only song my soul can find to sing is

“Hallelujah!  Hallelujah!  Hallelujah, my King!”

[Transfiguration by Hillsong]

I have so many more amazing things to say about what God is doing right now (especially in ministry), but I take a long time to process.  I want to get all that God wants me to get out of it, just between Him and I, before I post about it.  Thank you for your patience and I hope God spoke to you through what I have shared.